It's 2012. Two Anglican Clergy Walk Into The National Cathedral

They observe the Episcopal presiding bishop and her incense-bearing lover process down the aisle behind a statue of the Buddha, while the faithful sing a hymn to Mother Earth.

“You know,” one traditionalist whispers, “ONE more thing and I’m out the door.”

Ba-dum-bum.

Thanks to Fr. Obi-Wan for that one.

We posted here earlier a re-evaluation of the whole Anglican collapse. As the joke makes clear, schism can be a pretty complicated process when so many of the laity and clergy have abandoned the idea of dogma. The TimesOnline has the latest:

A worldwide Anglican schism now seems inevitable after Episcopal bishops in the United States today backed the consecration of gay bishops.

No freaking way! Has someone told Rowan about this?

Episcopal bishops approved a resolution passed earlier this week by the laity and clergy that allows “partnered gays” full access to ordination.

The Archbishop of Canterbury expressed “regret” over a decision by Anglicans in the US that represents a blow to his hopes for Church unity.

I'm shocked that the Americans would do this sort of thing. But at least the Archclergyman of Canterbury has been informed so that, by golly, he can do something about it. Anybody remember when the Anglicans were gracious enough to state that, in the event of full-scale reunion with Rome, they would accept the Pope as having the same authority as Canterbury?

It still makes me laugh.

They took the step towards schism in spite of a plea by Dr Rowan Williams, who addressed the General Convention in Anaheim, California, last week.

The new resolution effectively overturns the moratoria on same-sex blessings and gay consecrations agreed by the last General Convention of The Episcopal Church in 2006.

Anglican leaders requested the moratorium five years ago in an attempt to prevent schism. The Episcopal Church General Convention three years ago urged “restraint” over the election of bishops whose “manner of life” would cause offence to the wider Anglican Communion.

It's becoming very clear that the Anglican implosion is probably a better example than your run-of-the-mill house church break-up for why poping is so very necessary .

Only last month conservative Episcopalians set up a new province, the Anglican Church in North America, which is seeking recognition from Dr Williams and the General Synod of the Church of England.

But Dr Williams’s hopes of maintaining unity seemed increasingly futile as the Episcopal Church’s Presiding Bishop, Katherine Jefferts Schori, warned the Church of England that it should not recognise the new province, arguing that “schism is not a Christian act”.

BWAH-HA-HA-HA!!! Oh, that wacky Katherine!

Wait. It gets better.

About a quarter of General Synod members, including four diocesan and two suffragan bishops, back a private member’s motion calling on the Church of England to declare itself “in communion” with the American conservatives.

Earlier Bishop Jefferts Schori “threw a hand grenade” into proceedings, as USA Today’s Faith and Reason blog put it, when she said that the tendency to focus on individual salvation in the debate over sexual ethics was “heresy” and “idolatry”.

I hope everyone can see the irony here. Schori has effectively set herself up as the Anglican pope. Who is in schism? Whoever she says. Who is preaching heresy? Nobody knows but her. And maybe God, but we can't be sure where Katherine has set the rankings between the Almighty and herself.

How about we accept the reality of the situation and call a schism a schism? Even if you take out the complete doctrinal anarchy, how can there be a "communion" of any kind when you've got Schori running around basically setting the rules and standards for everyone else?

What exactly are the Anglicans "communing" over anymore? Hell if I know.

On the bright side, we have three Episcopalians here in town looking to convert to Catholicism. So we got that going for us.